


A Couple of Goats

by ProgramasaurusRex, Sj2001



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderswap, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:32:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProgramasaurusRex/pseuds/ProgramasaurusRex, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sj2001/pseuds/Sj2001
Summary: Dhanishta comes back from a bad date and has a chat with her friend Gilfoyle.





	A Couple of Goats

**Author's Note:**

> I was asked to do a gender swap with a female version of Dinesh by Sj2001. I had a lot of fun coming up with a name for female Dinesh. It was mentioned in one of the episodes that Dinesh was actually an Indian name. So I figured I'd change a male Indian name meaning "sun" to a female Indian name meaning "star" and got Dhanishta.

Dhanishta plopped down on the living room couch with a resounding thunk.

"I take it your Tinder date didn't go too well?" asked Gilfoyle from the armchair.

Dhanishta folded her arms and said nothing.

"Couldn't possibly have anything to do with the blatantly doctored photos on your profile, could it?" Gilfoyle teased.

"You wouldn't think a bunch of computer nerds would have such high standards of beauty," she said testily. "Shallow pricks."

"Look, just a thought," said Gilfoyle, putting his feet up on the ottoman, "but maybe instead of waiting for some guy to be trapped by your brilliant web of deceit, you could just post what you really look like and wait until someone who actually likes your appearance comes along."

Dhanishta slipped off her shoes, pulled a throw blanket off the couch, and lay down on her side.

"Could be years," she said moodily.

"The convenient part about looking for the love of your life is that you only have one life," he said, his features softening. "So you only need one love."

"Doesn't help me if I never find him," she said. "How many guys are there out there who like the same video games as me, are into people with my body type and fashion sense, don't mind me being socially incompetent, and they're single and live within twenty miles of here?"

"You're really not doing yourself any favors with the weird long dresses and berets," said Gilfoyle. "You're objectively not attractive enough to pull off quirky fashion choices."

"Okay I'm really confused," said Dhanishta. "First you want me to be more honest about who I really am online, but then you want me to stop dressing how I feel? Fuck this. Maybe I should have stayed with Mike."

The effect on Gilfoyle was immediate. He sat up and planted his feet firmly on the floor. "No," he said, all traces of humor gone from his tone.

"Well, why not?" asked Dhanishta. "It's entirely possible that he is the only person who will ever want me that I'll actually meet."

"He was an abusive asswipe," said Gilfoyle. "You're better off being single than with that dude."

"But being single is awful," she groaned.

"So was Mike," he replied. "It pains me to say this, but you're too good for him."

Dhanishta looked up into Gilfoyle's eyes, reading protectiveness and concern in the position of his arms. The nice part about Gilfoyle was that he never lied to protect your feelings, so you could trust him when he showed you kindness. In a strange way, she appreciated this blunt, sarcastic man.

"I'm not giving you a pity fuck because I'm not attracted to you," he said.

"What?" she sputtered. "Who asked you to?"

Gilfoyle grinned smugly like he knew.

"Hey, does your kind do arranged marriages?" he asked.

She sighed. "I know you're just being racist, but actually we do. My mother's always on my case about it."

"Perfect," he said. "You could outsource your catfishing to a third party."

"And then I could get formally rejected multiple times with my entire family watching, instead of just brushed off casually in bars," she said.

Gilfoyle titled his head to the side. "I bet you'd be worth a couple goats at least."

Dhanishta threw a pillow at him.


End file.
